Thrown into the whirlpool of life, I learned from early experience that I was not like everyone else and that I would never attain the state to which my heart aspired through a known path walked by fellow humans.
Voyaging in the unknown realm since my mid-twenties and moving to an alien land where my calling had taken me, I began lately to feel that my imagination no longer provided my heart with any nourishment, and my soul no longer had the strength to soar as once it did. At least, being in a familiar realm enables me to cling to a host of things. But now, I have lost hold of them all and have nothing left but myself. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have lost my firm footing. Now, I cling to nothing and simply lean on myself.
Driven by my own curiosity and obsessions, the power of these forces eclipses the ones fired by extrinsic rewards offered by society. That is why I often find myself discouraged in finding a firm place in existing systems, which have been designed to promote early bloomers and Machiavellian opportunists. Being obsessed with the learning itself rather than the result, I usually arrive at my desired destinations years later than most humans, and consequently, my progress usually goes unnoticed. The high self-belief, with the high self-doubt, paralyzes my body and consumes my soul.
Yet, I have learned to bear the yoke of necessity without complaining, to escape from the feelings of displacement that seemed to be my ultimate state, and to always try to recover my serenity and tranquillity.
What, then, do I need to do to be at peace? I do not know. What is missing now to make me the most fortunate? Nothing that mankind could do. Yet even so, I would rather be myself with all my shortcomings than one of them in all their prosperity.
